Driving Myself Crazy

So I have come up with a theory. This is what I do when I drive by myself, I think too much.

So my theory is that I may have come to an age where I may be too set in my ways and in what I want that I can no longer date anyone. Strike that. I couldn’t date someone else who was set in their ways. That would be anyone in my age range. As an example I will give you sleeping habits. I really don’t want to deal with some sweaty, snoring, flailing bed mate. How about eating habits? Drinking out of the carton, leaving crumbs in the butter or any other number of annoying practices. Don’t even get me started on personal hygiene.

This whole thing supports my attraction to younger men. They are not set in their ways. They are in effect, trainable. However, as pretty as they are, as trainable as they may be they are just fleeting diversions. I can connect with them physically but only rarely emotionally. On those rare occasions I can look forward to heartbreak, unintentional on the young man’s part but still hurt that I would rather not have to deal with.

Of course in the end I know that I cannot have a lasting relationship with someone who has so little common ground. I know this in my mind. Sometimes my mind and my heart don’t communicate as they should. Lesson learned. Lesson forgotten. Till I learn it again.

So I am back to thinking that I may be broken in some way, unable to date anyone, or for that matter be “dated” by anyone. Sadly this realization comes at a time when I would consider seeing someone on a regular basis.

Realize that this is not some sad pity party I am attending. These are just the things that bounce around in my head when I drive a long distance by myself. I do in fact have a healthy belief that there may be a man out there who will figuratively sweep me off my feet. I also know that if he never shows up I will be just fine on my own.