Part 2.5 or Stories from Halifax

So my good friend and tour guide Stew reminded me of something I have to blog about. This is something that shows the difference between people from Eastern Canada and those of us from Ontario. Oh, I apologize in advance to homeless and kind that I may be about to offend.

While wandering about Halifax there were two encounters that I found humorous. The first encounter involved a man who approached us in a park for money so he could get shelter at The Y. Incidentally there apparently is no Y in Halifax. The second encounter was more creative. Two girls approached us looking for cab fare because the one’s boyfriend got drunk and took off without them.

Neither of these incidents are humorous in and of themselves. What I did find funny was the effort they put into trying to get money from strangers. The stories were not elaborate at all yet they were totally complex compared to what I am used to. What you get here is the minimalist approach to panhandling. The most you will get in Ontario is a line asking for spare change. That’s if you even get that. Many just sit with their hat or Tim Horton’s cup. Not that a message is required as we get the picture.

So in the end, for me, the humor is in how the down-homers are all friendly and provide you with entertainment for your money. They are natural born story tellers. Here in Ontario they just don’t seem to put in the effort.

Brush with fame...

So if this guy hit on you in a bar would you walk away awkwardly? Thats what I did. DOH!

Here's how it went down. We went to The Grad Club for the Reelout Opening Gala on Friday. Preceding that was the screening of Were the World Mine which was a lot of fun. We went straight upstairs to the more loungy part of the Club. Dirty loungy but still loungy. We grabbed some couch space and settled in. I headed to the bar to grab us a drink. Stood there for a bit waiting for someone to show up when a cute boy came up to me and asked me how I enjoyed the movie. I said I though it was a lot of fun and he said it was his favourie on "the circuit" right now. The circuit should have been my first clue. At that point I pretty much ran out of things to say and thankfully my phone rang. It was Dan from about 20 feet away telling me the upstairs bar was not open yet. So I awkwardly excused myself from the "conversation" and headed to the downstairs bar for those drinks.

Only about 20 minutes later did Miss Tyffanie inform me that the cute boy was Charlie David, writer and star of the following nights feature screening Mulligans, as well as a regular on Dante's Cove and several other movies and television shows.

So now that I have all that out, I should add that Charlie probably wasn't hitting on me but I like the story better this way. Except for the part where I awkwardly wander off.

Food Porn

So I may have mentioned previously that although I don't cook, or even want to cook, I am hooked on The Food Network. I can watch for hours. I have all my regular shows and have learned lots about cooking. I even know what deglazing a pan means.

So anyway, point of my story is that when Meghan was staying with us I got her a little bit hooked too. We now refer to the shows on The Food Network as Food Porn. So totally appropriate.

Perhaps one of these days I will actually cook something. Stay tuned.

Wisdom of Meghan

Gay guy: How do I make my friends more accepting of me?

Meghan: If your friends don't accept you maybe it's time for new friends. Dump them.

I know I keep telling him to eat a sandwich...

Tim: I'll try the Slamwich.

Denny's Waitress: Would you like bacon on that?

Tim: Will that increase my chances of having a heart attack?

Denny's Waitress: Probably.

Recycling the past...

So since nothing really interesting happened today let me dredge something up from the summer of no blogs.

The 3AM border crossing on the way to Pittsburgh...

Looking back I guess I should have known that 4 guys crossing the border on their way to a furry convention are going to get pullled over for sure. At least we had the big fursuit dog head in the trunk to back us up. Well after a half an hour answering random questions we were back on our way to the land of Anthrocon. Anthrocon was more fun that I ever expected. It kind of reminded me of the Star Trek conventions I attended in my younger days except the Anthrocon attendees were much less serious. Let me tell you that you have not lived till you have seen 30 furries do The Time Warp. Ego Boost: Mikey was hit on by a "straight" boy (and a 6 foot skunk from South Carolina). Good times.

I have to say that Pittsburgh surprised me. It was so very much like Chicago but with less art. It was reasonably clean, at least the areas we were in were clean. There was lots of good architecture and some good museums, most notably The Andy Warhol Museum. There was also no tax on clothes and shoes. Gay heaven to be sure. Mikey came home with a new pair of Pumas.

I am definitely looking forward to going again next year. At least next year it doesn't happen on the same weekend as Toronto Pride.

PS: To whoever found that lost SD Card outside of The Warhol Museum. I was not defiling that teddy bear, we're just close that way.

Some people would walk through shit for a cause...

So here's some funny-ness that happened today.

There was a parade of Mounted Police going down Princess Street tonight. Lots of horses, lots of horse shit. Fast forward to about 45 minutes later when a whole whack of people marching for Take Back The Night do the same route. On foot. Thats funny. Poor planning and funny.

More book-talk

New book on the go. Finished "Running With Scissors" and am now reading "Dry" also by Augusten Burroughs. It is the third of his auto-biographical books I have read along with his novel which is also very funny shit. Only Augusten (yes we are on a first name basis now) can make rehab funny. Seriously grab one of his books and give it a read. If I like you I might even lend you one of my copies. Once I finish this one I have a couple other books I plan on picking up. Different authors, I guess it's good to branch out a bit. I'll probably blog about those later if they are worthy.

So I'll be back in Trenton on the 27th for Tracy and Dan's wedding. That should be interesting. The wedding will be a blast. Trenton will be pretty much the same as when I left I figure. Most I have done since I left has been the odd hit and run, stopping at the Hospital to see some of the old coworkers. We are staying at The Holiday Inn, the ultimate in classy.

Oh and just something to ponder: STRAP ON is NO PARTS spelled backwards. That's a little something for my lesbian readers out there.

Boy gone wild

So it was my birthday weekend. I have learned in the last few years to expect fun and adventure on my birthday. It just seems to work out that way.
Bryan and Ryan came down which is great. Saturday we all got together here and had an awesome breakfast cooked by Dan. We then did a bit of shopping and then went to see the new BOURNE movie. It was awesome. Well I sure liked it. Also there were 5 previews before the movie started and I want to see them all. Its going to be busy.
Saturday night we gathered at Tango. I had a great time. Good drink and good food. And the best friends ever.
Now is where it starts to get crazy. Sunday morning started off innocuously. Sunday brunch same as always, good times. Good turn out. Mark brought the boy he is dating. After his first encounter with us he doesn't like us. We can be opinionated, and we are hard on Mark. Not sure what he thinks after his second encounter. Then off to Howie and Neil's...
Wasn't there 2 minutes before I was doing a B-52 and then I never saw the bottom of my Cosmo after that. Needless to say that after so little food I did get pretty drunk. To the point where I have memory lapses involving falling up some stairs and possibly accosting Mark's boy.
Dinner time came and Silver Wok was the choice. Dan decided we should come home and let the dogs out. Good thing because I went up stairs and had a good session puking up what little I had eaten. Yeah we didn't go out. I parked myself on the couch and didn't move much till I headed to bed.
By morning I was pretty much recovered though there was one quick incident in the middle of the night. I remember waking up at some point and for some reason, as only men would do I reached for my privates and could only locate one testicle. I remember a bit of panic before the other one came out of its hiding spot to assume its correct position. I'm not sure if that story would have been any different had I been sober or not. Good story to tell the grand-kids though. Thank goodness I will never have any grand-kids.
Anyway, Monday, my actual birthday was much more low key. We drove to Whitby to get our passport applications in. Dinner at Cambodiana with Howie & Neil. Thats about it really. Today was back to work, 3 more days to go.

At least I remember most of it...

Great weekend!
Highlights of the weekend include: Kingston's Gay Pride Parade (such as it was), shopping, Pride Party at The Grad Club, Brunch, Coffee with Kim, dinner and Ocean's 13 with Howie and Neil.
The parade was small but at least we have one. The weather was outstanding for it.
Shopping was very good. Tim is my new good luck charm when it comes to shopping since I found 2 camouflage items that I have been looking for for a while now.
The Grad Club was good for a change. Great crowd. Saw a few people I haven't seen in a while. Could have stayed later but what the hell.
Coffee with Kim and the most animated story about Aunt Lee to date. Every family has to have one and Aunt Lee must count for about 10.
Stopped by to see Howie and Neil while we were in the neighbourhood which of course turned into dinner and a movie. Ocean's 13: Not as good as 11 but better than 12.
So funny story about The Grad Club outing. I had my first total did-something-I-don't-remember-doing-even-after-being-told-I-did-it moment. Apparently Tim and I dropped our pants to show off our matching underwear. Yeah, totally have no recollection of that particular event. But it doesn't surprise me.
So it was a totally full and fun weekend. Two more like it to come I think. YAY!

Is this a typical border crossing conversation?

Border Guard: Reason for entering the US?
Howie: We're going to buy Cheez-its.
Border Guard: That is a noble reason. The last person I had who said she was going to Hershey, Pensylvania to buy Mr Goodbars had a purse full of marijuana.
Howie: I don't have a purse.