Is it time for the looney bin?

So the weirdest thing happened to me today. I was at work. The day was going quite well. In fact yesterday went well too, flew right by. Back to today though. I spent most of the day text messaging with Gord. We don't get to talk much anymore and I miss him lots. At some point though I started to feel weird. My only guess is that it was some kind of anxiety attack. My breathing was weird, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't deal with the calls. I think I seriously could have started crying right there at my desk. I mean I always have the same shit on my mind... Money, shitty job, house, worry about the future, and all the rest. This stuff is always with me but it has never made me feel like this. I have no idea what to make of it. We will see how tomorrow goes. I don't want to deal with that feeling again.
Add to all that my being extremely horny lately. Not sure what that's all about.
Anyway, thats all I got.

Wireless Blogging...

So I did call in sick today. Dan booked today off and we are getting a few things done and giving me a chance to shake this cold.
I haven't got much to say but I am at The Goat with my laptop and I wanted to blog from here. Just to say I did I guess. I am actually spending more time trying to keep the connection than I am actually using the connection. Still its all fun for Mikey. I am sure Dan Thinks I am crazy.
Anyway, that's all I have for now. I know the blogs have been few and far between. Just haven't had much going on that was blog-worthy I guess. Thats probably not a bad thing.
So thats it for now kiddies...
PS: The connection didn't hold. I am posting this from home.

BAH! I hate having a cold...

So I have a cold. I hate being sick. It started to hit me yesterday afternoon at work. I went to meet the gang after work for our usual Wednesday night dinner. I felt okay for that, came home, watched THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT with Howie & Neil. That one is one of my favourite gay movies. A "must see" movie for gays everywhere. Rent it, watch it. Chatted for a bit after that but was pretty wasted. Bed around 11PM. So early for me.
This morning I woke up feeling like crap. Decided I needed to go to work anyway since I am running low on sick days. Working for nazis means you only get 10 per year. I have 6 gone, oddly not one was used because I was sick, but I digress. I decided if I still felt crappy tomorrow I will call in sick then. It is pretty much a given that I am not going in. YAY! Long weekend.
Despite my cold we went for our walk downtown. When I am sick I hate staying home and wallowing in my germs. So coffee at The Goat it was. The walk and the fresh air was good.
Now I am stuffed up again. Hoping to not feel too crappy in the morning. Have a few errands to run then will relax at home for the rest of the day.
So that's it for now. I will add that I am loving the wireless thing... Thanks again Gordo. Love you, miss you.

Wireless networks and Potato Salad...

So today was a good day. The usual Sunday Brunch at The Goat. Some shopping, and some computer tech support.
I got my new bathroom faucet from RONA. I looked at some TVs as I will probably be picking one up soon. 32 or 37" LCD Flatscreen.
Bryan came over and got my wireless card for the laptop running and I am laying in bed typing this blog with no wires. Naked for those of you who are dying to know.
So on to the potato salad. I really didn't mean to make Howie feel bad for forgeting to make his awesome potato salad for my birthday party. I just kinda mentioned it at brunch. I really didn't expect him to show up tonight with a big ziplock bag full of a batch he made up just for me. What a sweet guy. I will surely enjoy it. Sorry Mom but Howie's is the absolute best potato salad EVER.
Other than those highlights, we did go to the National Gallery to see the Emily Carr Exhibit. Interesting but not really my thing. It was a nice day though.
We're done...

40 and FABULOUS!

Well I did it. I made it to 40. It was quite the event. It was so much fun. Had a great time and it was nice to see all my friends and family. I drank a lot. I talked a lot. I decapitated a Penny Pinata. Nearly whacked my dog with the stick. Drank some more. Who's idea was it to make jello shooters? Anyway they were good. And the cake! Yeah the cake was a highlight. I'll say no more.
What I will say is: Thanks everyone for coming out to launch me into my 40's. I love you all.

Giving up...

So my "dream job" turned out to be someone else's dream job. 154 applicants, 3 finalists, all 3 had worked there before. They knew who they were going to hire and really just wasted my time.
My dissapointment is really my own fault. I get myself worked up and start thinking really positive. I need to stop doing that because the crashing at the end really sucks.
This has kinda taken the wind out of my sails right now and I have no ambition to do anything. I am not interested in applying for any other jobs. I am certainly not interested in going back to my current place of employment though of course I have no choice and will be there on Monday. I am not interested in pursuing buying the house. Just kinda don't care about anything right now. I kinda just want to curl up in a ball somewhere and forget about everything and anything. I've just had enough.
Oh and I turn 40 in 8 days... Yee-fucking-ha...

Just a little bit of stress...

So I applied for a desk clerk position at Queens in the residence system. Same job as Dan does. This is my dream job. I can't even begin to tell you. This is a job that would allow me much more freedom than my current job. Freedom to socialize more, freedom to have a little fun at work, freedom to possibly pursue some academic pursuits and freedom to advance to other more challenging positions.
So you all have heard me harp on about other jobs, or at least the School of Business job anyway. Yeah I want this one WAY more. I definitely have some things going for me, including a recommendation from a rather influential source. Now much of what we think I have going for me for the position is speculation on our parts, things we think will appeal to those doing the hiring. Anyway, Dan says I have a good chance at getting this one.
So now the point of this blog. I am so tense about this job I am making myself crazy. It is no secret how much I hate my current job. I have pretty much checked out already. I have no interest in being there at all and I think that is pretty apparent to all. So I am just driving myself crazy worrying about if I will get it or not. Stressing. STRESSING.
By the way, I turn 40 in 12 days. I am hardly stressed by that at all. YET!